Beautiful Bittersweet Life Poems

Exploring the world of life and grief through poetry.

Tag: Resiliance

  • What If

    What If

    On Living With a Chronic Condition

    Sweetheart, it’s okay to stop fighting.
    It’s not giving up, but coming to terms
    with the reality that was not of your choice.
    For if combat was an option against
    a body that refuses to work the way it once did,
    you would be better by now.
    The stash of energy that you could draw on before
    is now depleted and doesn’t recharge easily.
    What if you chose to shower yourself
    with kindness and compassion instead?
    It wouldn’t undo the physical changes,
    but, oh, how it will soothe your weary soul.
    It will give you the space to breathe deeply,
    What if you treat yourself like
    your best friend?
    How gentle you would be,
    holding them in a warm loving embrace,
    meeting them right where they’re at.
    What if you allowed yourself to grieve
    the life you once lived so easily?
    It’s not a sign of weakness or surrender,
    but choosing to find some serenity
    on a journey that is already wearisome.
    I know, sweetheart, that there are days
    when it all feels too much, but what if
    you took a moment, an hour, a day,
    to give yourself a break from the demands in your head
    and just be.

  • Never Enough Time

    Never Enough Time

    Tonight, my heart aches for you,
    as your absence stretches out like the universe.
    Where memories of you are as numerous as the stars,
    but your presence is forever out of reach.
    You were my strength and font of wisdom
    when I felt lost and scared.
    No trip was too long to take to help me out,
    my road warrior who loved to be behind the wheel.
    You held me tight when I was young,
    protective of your brood of children.
    I still remember the tears on my cheeks
    when you would leave us at camp
    to return to work for the week.
    How I wish I could sit by your side
    just one more time and hear the love in your voice,
    the joy you had recounting your many adventures.
    But one more time would never be enough.
    So, I trek through this world,
    buoyed by the love you infused in me.
    I carry you with me wherever I go,
    sharing stories with people who didn’t
    have the good fortune to know you.
    But then there will be days like this,
    when my body isn’t working right
    and I’m hollowed out, that I’ll
    long to hear you say, “Hey, Jen. It’s dad.
    I’ll talk to you later.”

  • Befriending Tears

    Befriending Tears

    Inspired by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s poem, “Gold Medal”

    “Don’t cry,” they said. “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
    So, I hid my tears in the solitude of my room,
    away from prying eyes.
    Not wanting to upset someone else.
    Wanting to appear strong for those who counted on me.
    For I remember seeing the infrequent tears of my parents,
    and how distressing it was for me.
    But hiding my sorrow was a disservice
    to those I love and myself.
    For crying and strength are compatriots,
    part of being human.
    And though I’ve been a sensitive soul
    who has wept easily most of my life,
    I no longer feel the need to be in the closet.
    For there are so many things that bring tears to my eyes.
    Acts of kindness are always at the top of the list.
    The songs that touch my heart,
    sometimes for their mere beauty
    or because they bring back a bittersweet memory.
    The beauty that exists in nature.
    Or tears that come unbidden when I ache
    for my loved ones who are no longer here.
    Being my authentic self means
    that not only am I free to express my tears,
    but I also laugh from the depth of my being,
    and love with the intensity of a million suns.

  • How Community Heals the Soul

    How Community Heals the Soul

    When the world feels so dark,
    caving in with relentless bad news,
    for that is what lifts the ratings
    and increases revenues,
    but at what cost?
    It’s then that I shut the news down,
    and walk away from doom scrolling,
    turning to the communities that
    refresh my soul and hold me in safety.
    When I open the door to my people,
    whether online or in person,
    I feel peace settle over my heart
    as I take in all those beautiful faces,
    their love washing over me.
    The vitriol of society is forbidden entrance,
    as those who want to bring light gather.
    Each circle that I’ve joined has changed me for the better,
    providing hope that when we unite with the intention
    of love and support, we can truly be our better angels.

  • Stumbled Upon: Embracing Life’s Unplanned Adventures

    Stumbled Upon: Embracing Life’s Unplanned Adventures

    When I sit down to write my autobiography,
    I will title it Stumbled Upon.
    For it is this unplanned life
    that sent me veering onto a path
    of unimaginable adventures.
    Often, I was catapulted by a lifequake*,
    brought on by the death of my husband,
    which left me adrift.
    And yet, I somehow found my footing.
    The steps were heavy amid the grief,
    but I kept walking and my steps grew lighter.
    Photography became a saving grace,
    as a continued bond to my husband,
    and kept me in the present moment
    when my eye was focused in the viewfinder.
    From capturing the beauty of nature to
    going to bars, something I hadn’t done since I was in my twenties,
    to photograph musicians as they played
    opened a forgotten part of my life that brought
    me both joy and finding kind people I call friends.
    By using my photography email, I ended up
    being the photographer for the Phoenix Film Festival.
    I’d never done event photography,
    but my saying yes to the unknown
    opened the world of independent films,
    filmmakers, and new friendships
    with festival attendees and volunteers.
    All these experiences led me to participate in
    a storytelling event on how my life had come
    full circle with my husband, photography and music.
    I stood on a stage where I had spent so many
    hours capturing musicians at work,
    sharing my story by heart
    with a few butterflies stirring in my stomach.
    As time goes on, and I adjust
    to my body’s capabilities,
    I have found new ways to feed the creative beast that lives within.
    Now, I spend my days expressing myself with art and improv.
    The beauty of letting go of a planned life
    is the richness that I never imagined
    and the communities that I have become a part of.

    *Lifequakes is a term coined by Bruce Feiler in his book Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age

    Photo credit: Neil Schwartz