In the darkness of the night,
when my body wants nothing more than to sleep,
I awake to the quiet of my room,
Alone, lonely, tears forming in my eyes.
Unprovoked by dreams,
the sadness shows up,
an unwelcome friend that
doesn’t get the hint they weren’t invited
and it’s time to leave.
“Sweetheart, it’s okay to cry,” they say.
“Not at 4 in the morning!” I shout,
as I try to lull myself back to sleep.
“Okay,” they answer, “I’ll see you later.”
And they evaporate just like the
tears that had escaped.
And I managed to drift off until
the morning light filters through the window.
As promised, they meet me as I open my eyes,
gently stroking my face, reminding me
that the tears will always come,
but so will the joy and laughter.
“It’s because you love, my darling,
that you must feel it all.”
Tag: love and loss
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Night Tears
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Never Enough Time
Tonight, my heart aches for you,
as your absence stretches out like the universe.
Where memories of you are as numerous as the stars,
but your presence is forever out of reach.
You were my strength and font of wisdom
when I felt lost and scared.
No trip was too long to take to help me out,
my road warrior who loved to be behind the wheel.
You held me tight when I was young,
protective of your brood of children.
I still remember the tears on my cheeks
when you would leave us at camp
to return to work for the week.
How I wish I could sit by your side
just one more time and hear the love in your voice,
the joy you had recounting your many adventures.
But one more time would never be enough.
So, I trek through this world,
buoyed by the love you infused in me.
I carry you with me wherever I go,
sharing stories with people who didn’t
have the good fortune to know you.
But then there will be days like this,
when my body isn’t working right
and I’m hollowed out, that I’ll
long to hear you say, “Hey, Jen. It’s dad.
I’ll talk to you later.” -
Befriending Tears
Inspired by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s poem, “Gold Medal”
“Don’t cry,” they said. “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
So, I hid my tears in the solitude of my room,
away from prying eyes.
Not wanting to upset someone else.
Wanting to appear strong for those who counted on me.
For I remember seeing the infrequent tears of my parents,
and how distressing it was for me.
But hiding my sorrow was a disservice
to those I love and myself.
For crying and strength are compatriots,
part of being human.
And though I’ve been a sensitive soul
who has wept easily most of my life,
I no longer feel the need to be in the closet.
For there are so many things that bring tears to my eyes.
Acts of kindness are always at the top of the list.
The songs that touch my heart,
sometimes for their mere beauty
or because they bring back a bittersweet memory.
The beauty that exists in nature.
Or tears that come unbidden when I ache
for my loved ones who are no longer here.
Being my authentic self means
that not only am I free to express my tears,
but I also laugh from the depth of my being,
and love with the intensity of a million suns. -
We Are All Connected
As the news showed the images
of the devastation of the midair crash in DC
followed by a jet crash in Philadelphia two days later,
my heart ached for the lives that were cut short,
and for their family and friends who were
entering a nightmare not of their choosing.
Having lived through the sudden death of my husband,
the life I knew was altered, unrecognizable
as my heart lay on the floor, shattered.
No longer could I see the tragedies of the world
as numbers, but as individuals whose lives
would never be the same again.
For it was in my awakening from the searing pain of grief,
that I recognized all of humanity is intertwined.
That we are meant to be with each other,
holding each other in compassion.
I couldn’t sit on the sidelines
in the face of others’ pain,
whether it was from the death of a loved one
or other losses caused by unforeseen life changes.
I knew I couldn’t take away their agony,
but I could share the gifts I had,
hoping to bring some comfort,
no matter how small. -
She Lives in Me
For Mom
I breathe in your essence,
what you’ve infused into my soul.
I miss your embrace and the sound of your voice.
And yet, I feel you walking beside me.
It’s the light in my eyes when I
lead with curiosity, whether it’s meeting new people
or trying new experiences.
Your childlike wonder showed me
how to explore the world.
The willingness to make mistakes and fall,
knowing that I would rise again.
You taught me to laugh at myself,
to laugh with others, but not at them.
I miss when you’d say,
“I’m so proud of you.
You reinvented yourself.
You could have just given up,
but you kept going.”
Those words were uplifting,
reminding me that I found a way to live
in the face of grief and trials.
I never minded
as your memory faded
to hear those precious words on repeat
until they disappeared as well.
The gift of encouragement,
especially on days
that are overwhelming and exhausting,
still resound in my head.
It is also a reminder to pay it forward,
telling those I love how proud I am of them,
hoping to spread your warmth
that you left in my keeping.
Beautiful Bittersweet Life Poems 