Beautiful Bittersweet Life Poems

Exploring the world of life and grief through poetry.

Tag: life changes

  • The Gift I Didn’t Ask For

    The Gift I Didn’t Ask For

    I sat slumped on the floor,
    the wrapping torn off the box.
    As I reached inside,
    I already knew that I didn’t want this present,
    but there was a no return policy stapled to the gift.

    Who was the giver that would lay
    such a heavy unwanted inheritance
    for me to carry with me
    as I wander the world for the rest of my days.

    The giver sits next to me,
    wrapping one arm around my shoulder
    as their other hand wipes away
    the tears that run down my cheeks.

    “Dear one,” they say,
    “I know that this present feels like a curse,
    and you’d rather that I’d disappear with it,
    leaving your world unshaken.”

    “But grief is interwoven with the love that preceded it
    like a finely knitted sweater.
    The tattered garment that you now possess
    is the love that remains.”

    I pulled the sweater to my heart,
    rubbing the holes that plague this once intact garment,
    knowing that my body will learn to adjust to the chill that the holes let in,
    while the rest of the sweater will warm me with your memories and love.

  • Letting Go, Finding Freedom

    Letting Go, Finding Freedom

    “Letting go is what keeps you alive.” Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, from “When Living on a Tiny Island.”

    I squeezed my hands so tight that my knuckles turned white,
    leaving red moon crescents imprinted on my palms.
    Hoping that I could stop time,
    and everything that lay ahead of me.
    How foolish to think that I had so much power.
    And yet, that was my habit,
    the insanity that I had always employed
    with no success.
    It took time to release my death grip,
    learning from the wisdom of others
    that the only influence that I possessed
    was over my own behaviors and thoughts.
    Frankly, my brain can still be
    the most dangerous neighborhood to visit.
    When I slowly let go of that which I couldn’t control,
    my body began to relax, and I could breathe again.
    I learned that love was holding people in my heart,
    no matter what our relationship was.
    Giving them the dignity to follow their own path
    freed me to follow mine.

  • Rising From The Ashes

    Rising From The Ashes

    I was sure that the ashes of the life that I had
    before my husband died would bury me alive.
    The dull embers of what was left behind,
    were threatened with extinction by the weight of grief
    that encompassed my soul,
    making each step, each decision exhausting,
    as I traveled this world without my partner.

    And yet, with time and tears, the weight began to lift
    as I reentered life.
    No longer the woman I was,
    for she will never exist again.
    Instead, I had to find another me,
    with memories of my previous life
    serving as an anchor,
    and sails to set me on my new course.

    If I had made a vision board,
    none of the endeavors I would try
    would have been within the scope of my imagination.
    It was only when I was willing to say yes to life,
    full of trepidation and anxiety, my world began to grow.
    With each new adventure, I gained confidence.
    My mantra became, “I’ve already lived through the
    most painful episode in my life, how can anything be worse?”
    The grief was still a companion,
    but so was the joy of learning to be creative,
    which has provided the most healing
    for my broken heart.

  • What If

    What If

    On Living With a Chronic Condition

    Sweetheart, it’s okay to stop fighting.
    It’s not giving up, but coming to terms
    with the reality that was not of your choice.
    For if combat was an option against
    a body that refuses to work the way it once did,
    you would be better by now.
    The stash of energy that you could draw on before
    is now depleted and doesn’t recharge easily.
    What if you chose to shower yourself
    with kindness and compassion instead?
    It wouldn’t undo the physical changes,
    but, oh, how it will soothe your weary soul.
    It will give you the space to breathe deeply,
    What if you treat yourself like
    your best friend?
    How gentle you would be,
    holding them in a warm loving embrace,
    meeting them right where they’re at.
    What if you allowed yourself to grieve
    the life you once lived so easily?
    It’s not a sign of weakness or surrender,
    but choosing to find some serenity
    on a journey that is already wearisome.
    I know, sweetheart, that there are days
    when it all feels too much, but what if
    you took a moment, an hour, a day,
    to give yourself a break from the demands in your head
    and just be.

  • Night Tears

    Night Tears

    In the darkness of the night,
    when my body wants nothing more than to sleep,
    I awake to the quiet of my room,
    Alone, lonely, tears forming in my eyes.
    Unprovoked by dreams,
    the sadness shows up,
    an unwelcome friend that
    doesn’t get the hint they weren’t invited
    and it’s time to leave.
    “Sweetheart, it’s okay to cry,” they say.
    “Not at 4 in the morning!” I shout,
    as I try to lull myself back to sleep.
    “Okay,” they answer, “I’ll see you later.”
    And they evaporate just like the
    tears that had escaped.
    And I managed to drift off until
    the morning light filters through the window.
    As promised, they meet me as I open my eyes,
    gently stroking my face, reminding me
    that the tears will always come,
    but so will the joy and laughter.
    “It’s because you love, my darling,
    that you must feel it all.”