Beautiful Bittersweet Life Poems

Exploring the world of life and grief through poetry.

Category: love

  • Extraordinary Power of Everyday Moments

    Extraordinary Power of Everyday Moments

    For Mike

    Because love is about the small everyday moments that we share,
    the pain of your absence was especially severe in
    the early minutes, hours, days, months and years after you died.
    The song you wrote that first captured my heart.
    How I fit so neatly into your embrace,
    especially in the mornings when we met in the kitchen for breakfast.
    The way that you shaved my legs when my pregnant
    belly made that task an impossibility.
    Your words of encouragement when I’d try something new,
    believing in me when I didn’t have faith in myself.
    How we were partners in running the house,
    each bringing our special talents so no one carried all the weight.
    You were my companion in parenting our kids,
    never shying away from dirty diapers or vomiting children.
    Even wringing out the cloth diapers that had been soaking
    in bleach before putting them in the wash.
    Being my person to run things by, even if I knew what I wanted to do.
    It was nice not to have to make every decision alone.
    The way that only you could wash the laundry,
    so that the clothes felt just right.
    Going to concerts together.
    Quiet evenings at home watching our favorite shows.
    The sense of humor and inside jokes we shared.
    The list goes on of these extraordinary ordinary moments
    that I miss so much about you.

  • The Gift I Didn’t Ask For

    The Gift I Didn’t Ask For

    I sat slumped on the floor,
    the wrapping torn off the box.
    As I reached inside,
    I already knew that I didn’t want this present,
    but there was a no return policy stapled to the gift.

    Who was the giver that would lay
    such a heavy unwanted inheritance
    for me to carry with me
    as I wander the world for the rest of my days.

    The giver sits next to me,
    wrapping one arm around my shoulder
    as their other hand wipes away
    the tears that run down my cheeks.

    “Dear one,” they say,
    “I know that this present feels like a curse,
    and you’d rather that I’d disappear with it,
    leaving your world unshaken.”

    “But grief is interwoven with the love that preceded it
    like a finely knitted sweater.
    The tattered garment that you now possess
    is the love that remains.”

    I pulled the sweater to my heart,
    rubbing the holes that plague this once intact garment,
    knowing that my body will learn to adjust to the chill that the holes let in,
    while the rest of the sweater will warm me with your memories and love.

  • Elephant Memory of Grief

    Elephant Memory of Grief

    Like elephants’ store memories
    that allow for their survival
    and to protect them from danger,
    we amass our grief experience.
    And though we would like to forget the pain
    when emotional anniversaries arise,
    our insides never forget.

    The brain says, “The anniversary of your beloved
    is close at hand.”
    And whether it was a year, or 13 years, or 25,
    your brain replays the time leading up to that
    horrible day in anticipation, as if it will happen
    again. No matter how rational your brain,
    death never makes sense.
    The absence is too profound.

    The heart says, “Your heart will always
    ache for your loved one.”
    You’ll wonder how you will walk through
    one more deathiversary, no matter
    how well you manage in life.
    For it’s the companionship, encouragement,
    the morning hug, and the support that your
    special person gave you will never be matched,
    for they were one of a kind.

    The body says, “Even if your brain and heart could forget,
    I will remind you as I course through your system,
    like defibrillator paddles”
    The tightness in the chest returns.
    The tears flow down your cheeks
    as you once again remember that this is your reality.
    Anxiety that something else bad will happen
    disrupts your days and nights
    A sluggishness returns as time stands still
    and barrels to the date of dread.

    The first year was the hardest
    because I truly thought that Mike would die again
    and I would have to relive the nightmare,
    not yet comprehending that death happens once.

    Now, my brain, heart, and body know
    that I can’t predict what day
    the anticipation will kick in,
    but it will come.
    I’ve also learned that the day itself will never be
    as bad as the days leading up to the death date,
    though the day after might be.
    However, my system will settle down to
    the low hum of grief that is
    forever a part of love.

  • Befriending Tears

    Befriending Tears

    Inspired by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s poem, “Gold Medal”

    “Don’t cry,” they said. “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
    So, I hid my tears in the solitude of my room,
    away from prying eyes.
    Not wanting to upset someone else.
    Wanting to appear strong for those who counted on me.
    For I remember seeing the infrequent tears of my parents,
    and how distressing it was for me.
    But hiding my sorrow was a disservice
    to those I love and myself.
    For crying and strength are compatriots,
    part of being human.
    And though I’ve been a sensitive soul
    who has wept easily most of my life,
    I no longer feel the need to be in the closet.
    For there are so many things that bring tears to my eyes.
    Acts of kindness are always at the top of the list.
    The songs that touch my heart,
    sometimes for their mere beauty
    or because they bring back a bittersweet memory.
    The beauty that exists in nature.
    Or tears that come unbidden when I ache
    for my loved ones who are no longer here.
    Being my authentic self means
    that not only am I free to express my tears,
    but I also laugh from the depth of my being,
    and love with the intensity of a million suns.

  • Sweet Beginnings

    Sweet Beginnings

    For Jesse

    How wondrous the light of love
    that shines from the eyes of a new parent as they gaze upon the new life that
    they hold close to their heart.
    A gift created by the deep love they have for each other.
    This sweet little person,
    the picture of perfection,
    with their cute little toes and fingers,
    and their adorable face,
    possesses the power to mesmerize,
    even in those early sleep deprived days.
    For time slows down as the world
    continues its hurried pace.
    For this moment in time,
    the only thing that matters
    is the beginning of a lifelong love story