Beautiful Bittersweet Life Poems

Exploring the world of life and grief through poetry.

Category: Life Reflections

  • Rising From The Ashes

    Rising From The Ashes

    I was sure that the ashes of the life that I had
    before my husband died would bury me alive.
    The dull embers of what was left behind,
    were threatened with extinction by the weight of grief
    that encompassed my soul,
    making each step, each decision exhausting,
    as I traveled this world without my partner.

    And yet, with time and tears, the weight began to lift
    as I reentered life.
    No longer the woman I was,
    for she will never exist again.
    Instead, I had to find another me,
    with memories of my previous life
    serving as an anchor,
    and sails to set me on my new course.

    If I had made a vision board,
    none of the endeavors I would try
    would have been within the scope of my imagination.
    It was only when I was willing to say yes to life,
    full of trepidation and anxiety, my world began to grow.
    With each new adventure, I gained confidence.
    My mantra became, “I’ve already lived through the
    most painful episode in my life, how can anything be worse?”
    The grief was still a companion,
    but so was the joy of learning to be creative,
    which has provided the most healing
    for my broken heart.

  • I Love You This Much

    I Love You This Much

    “Such strange math. The way it takes so little to create a joy so large.” Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

    Little did I know,
    my sweet Hummingbird friend,
    that all the special qualities
    that I have ascribed to you
    when you flit about me
    were already known by generations of Native Americans.
    Your mere presence and perfection
    reminds me of how much I am loved,
    that something so perfect exists in the world
    is a gift that I never take for granted.
    I feel immense joy as I watch you maneuver
    backwards and forwards, diving down to your favorite flower,
    to fill yourself with nectar, satisfying your hunger.
    You put on an air show with maneuvers
    that would put the best pilot to shame.
    And if the stars are aligned,
    I get to see you at rest on a branch,
    or bathing in a reflecting pond,
    taking a moment to breathe in the world.
    I stop as I take in your minute details,
    calmness overtaking me as I
    cherish this time we spend together.
    You bring me hope and healing when my soul is troubled,
    reminding me that there’s time to explore the world,
    but I must rest as well, if I’m to absorb
    the splendor that surrounds me.

  • Never Enough Time

    Never Enough Time

    Tonight, my heart aches for you,
    as your absence stretches out like the universe.
    Where memories of you are as numerous as the stars,
    but your presence is forever out of reach.
    You were my strength and font of wisdom
    when I felt lost and scared.
    No trip was too long to take to help me out,
    my road warrior who loved to be behind the wheel.
    You held me tight when I was young,
    protective of your brood of children.
    I still remember the tears on my cheeks
    when you would leave us at camp
    to return to work for the week.
    How I wish I could sit by your side
    just one more time and hear the love in your voice,
    the joy you had recounting your many adventures.
    But one more time would never be enough.
    So, I trek through this world,
    buoyed by the love you infused in me.
    I carry you with me wherever I go,
    sharing stories with people who didn’t
    have the good fortune to know you.
    But then there will be days like this,
    when my body isn’t working right
    and I’m hollowed out, that I’ll
    long to hear you say, “Hey, Jen. It’s dad.
    I’ll talk to you later.”

  • Befriending Tears

    Befriending Tears

    Inspired by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s poem, “Gold Medal”

    “Don’t cry,” they said. “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
    So, I hid my tears in the solitude of my room,
    away from prying eyes.
    Not wanting to upset someone else.
    Wanting to appear strong for those who counted on me.
    For I remember seeing the infrequent tears of my parents,
    and how distressing it was for me.
    But hiding my sorrow was a disservice
    to those I love and myself.
    For crying and strength are compatriots,
    part of being human.
    And though I’ve been a sensitive soul
    who has wept easily most of my life,
    I no longer feel the need to be in the closet.
    For there are so many things that bring tears to my eyes.
    Acts of kindness are always at the top of the list.
    The songs that touch my heart,
    sometimes for their mere beauty
    or because they bring back a bittersweet memory.
    The beauty that exists in nature.
    Or tears that come unbidden when I ache
    for my loved ones who are no longer here.
    Being my authentic self means
    that not only am I free to express my tears,
    but I also laugh from the depth of my being,
    and love with the intensity of a million suns.

  • We Are All Connected

    We Are All Connected

    As the news showed the images
    of the devastation of the midair crash in DC
    followed by a jet crash in Philadelphia two days later,
    my heart ached for the lives that were cut short,
    and for their family and friends who were
    entering a nightmare not of their choosing.
    Having lived through the sudden death of my husband,
    the life I knew was altered, unrecognizable
    as my heart lay on the floor, shattered.
    No longer could I see the tragedies of the world
    as numbers, but as individuals whose lives
    would never be the same again.
    For it was in my awakening from the searing pain of grief,
    that I recognized all of humanity is intertwined.
    That we are meant to be with each other,
    holding each other in compassion.
    I couldn’t sit on the sidelines
    in the face of others’ pain,
    whether it was from the death of a loved one
    or other losses caused by unforeseen life changes.
    I knew I couldn’t take away their agony,
    but I could share the gifts I had,
    hoping to bring some comfort,
    no matter how small.