The visitation times are posted,
daytime hours only.
Do not disturb grievers after 10 pm,
for they need time to rest and recover
But grief doesn’t respect the artifice of time,
arbitrary schedules society places on when we’re allowed to grieve.
“Love,” it says, “I know you’d rather be sleeping,
and this is an inconvenient time to visit,
but sit with me for a while.”
So, I lie in bed,
wrapped in my blankets,
pull out my notes app and write you a letter.
Tears snake down my face,
a welcome release from the pain in my chest.
And just like that, grief releases its hold,
bids me goodnight and disappears into the ether.
Category: Death
-
When Grief Visits at 4 AM
-
Never Enough Time
Tonight, my heart aches for you,
as your absence stretches out like the universe.
Where memories of you are as numerous as the stars,
but your presence is forever out of reach.
You were my strength and font of wisdom
when I felt lost and scared.
No trip was too long to take to help me out,
my road warrior who loved to be behind the wheel.
You held me tight when I was young,
protective of your brood of children.
I still remember the tears on my cheeks
when you would leave us at camp
to return to work for the week.
How I wish I could sit by your side
just one more time and hear the love in your voice,
the joy you had recounting your many adventures.
But one more time would never be enough.
So, I trek through this world,
buoyed by the love you infused in me.
I carry you with me wherever I go,
sharing stories with people who didn’t
have the good fortune to know you.
But then there will be days like this,
when my body isn’t working right
and I’m hollowed out, that I’ll
long to hear you say, “Hey, Jen. It’s dad.
I’ll talk to you later.” -
We Are All Connected
As the news showed the images
of the devastation of the midair crash in DC
followed by a jet crash in Philadelphia two days later,
my heart ached for the lives that were cut short,
and for their family and friends who were
entering a nightmare not of their choosing.
Having lived through the sudden death of my husband,
the life I knew was altered, unrecognizable
as my heart lay on the floor, shattered.
No longer could I see the tragedies of the world
as numbers, but as individuals whose lives
would never be the same again.
For it was in my awakening from the searing pain of grief,
that I recognized all of humanity is intertwined.
That we are meant to be with each other,
holding each other in compassion.
I couldn’t sit on the sidelines
in the face of others’ pain,
whether it was from the death of a loved one
or other losses caused by unforeseen life changes.
I knew I couldn’t take away their agony,
but I could share the gifts I had,
hoping to bring some comfort,
no matter how small. -
This Fragile Life
I thought the earth was solid,
That even the craziness of life had meaning
Until the day I sat next to your lifeless body,
My heart shattered, tears streaming down my face.No longer could I take a step without
The ground shaking under my feet,
Wondering if I would be able to navigate
this foreign landscape that made no sense.Time, as I knew it, no longer existed
As I watched people rush by like
They hadn’t felt the tectonic plates shift
Knowing that they could drop into the abyss at any moment.The fog washed over me as I tended to death’s chores.
The worst were the calls to say that you were dead.
No one wants to hear those sorrowful words
That were screaming in my soul.I wasn’t prepared to pick out funeral homes,
Or how many people I would have to speak with
To arrange my life without you.
The never-ending paperwork that said you no longer existed.Your death changed me,
Splitting my world into before and after.
Thirteen years ago, can seem like yesterday
When I’m hit by a trigger that reminds me
that you’re never coming back.
Beautiful Bittersweet Life Poems 